Year of 2016 Semi-Essay

Dec. 31, 7:33 pm.

Can we say, well, the whole year (which is going to end in 4 hours, 27 minutes), was a very mixed year? The New York Times is debating whether or not 2016 was the worst year ever, by showing there were worse years in history (like 1066 could compare to this. PLEASE!) And I am looking at 2015’s year in review, courtesy of Google, shaking my head, and muttering, “What naive fools we were.”

Whether or not you believe this year was the best (“Obama’s gone!”) or the worst (“Obama’s gone!”), you cannot deny this year brought change.

  1. Brexit

As an American, I perhaps have little right to talk about this (because I actually have little to say about this), but I will because I don’t care. I learned that, yes, the UK was part of the European Union (funny how I find out about things). And that many British actors wanted out , including Elizabeth Hurley, who showed her support in her own way posing with nothing but a Union Jack throw pillow (I don’t know her; it’s just that the photo was unforgettable, as well as one of a scene from the third, no sixth episode of Star Wars ‘shopped so that Merkel was Jabba the Hutt, and David Cameron was Princess Leia in a slave bikini).

Britain tired of immigrants flooding the small island, so to cut down on that, they cut off the EU to make immigration harder. This nearly made Scotland leave the  UK, and made David Cameron quit his post as British Prime Minister (whatever happened to “Keep Calm And Carry On”?).

I remember watching “Roman’s Numerals” wondering how much the world will lose with the loss of Britain, (which would be a lot), but according to The Wall Street Journal, things actually turned out alright for the economy. Because, (drum-roll, please) the American presidential election of 2016.

2. Election of 2016

“Hail to the Trump” will be on everyone’s lips within 20 days. Before you take out your pistols and pitchforks and burn my house down or something, please let’s not debate about the results other than it happened. Trump is president, and we’re accepting him as our leader for the next four-to-eight years. There I said it. Let’s not let politics mar this post. Oh wait, I will. (Audience mutters, “Where da pitchforks @?”)

Democrats were going to continue the Clinton dynasty (already weighed down by various scandals) by putting Hillary in the White House. This beloved advocate for women’s rights–with friends like Lena Dunham and eager magazines like Vogue–seemed like she would win it once and for all after slipping up in ’08 to Obama (Cue flashbacks). However, Trump, who was expert in making things (and fellow Republicans) work for him (as well as ambitious son-in-laws, but I’m digressing), managed to beat this politicking veteran without a single hair on his head out of place. Much of America grieved or cheered at the news at Nov. 8 (Cue empty subway train cars at the morning of election results, and then turn the camera at parties @ Trump HQ the night before).

And then we take out our popcorn, chocolate ice cream, and/or wineglasses of Bourbon and watch as Trump “pledge[s] allegiance to every citizen in America…”, and ponder on who would be the members of his Cabinet. At least the losers could count on one pro: Late Night Shows would joke on this for four-to-eight-years straight. The winners could finally purchase shirts made in the USA. So things turned out…shitty okay? I’m gonna check the [fake] news.

3. Facebook/ Yahoo/ Theranos/ Samsung/ Apple Inc. 

What happened, FB? How’m I supposed to make an account in your social media site (like so many of my friends and my mom) if I can’t trust what you put up? Fortunately for them, the fake news are a small percentage of their outage, but Zuckerberg promised to fight fake news (kinda reminds me how he and his wife Priscilla invested $3 billion to cure and treating all disease–a hopeful endeavor).

All is quiet on Yahoo!’s front… It cannot stand the hacks made at billions of email accounts (hopefully not mine!), so it was sold to Verizon for $4.83 billion (according to The Wall Street Journal). Another Silicon Valley giant crumbles.

Theranos Inc. hailing from Palo Alto, California is close to death. Nothing spells defeat for the blonde black-turtleneck-donning female pioneer with a mission to make machines that give out diagnoses by analyzing a drop of blood other than closing its blood-testing facilities and letting go nearly a half of its workers.

Samsung is under fire from many people singed from their products. Recalling millions of phones and taking back their models,  Samsung has yet to take back their washing machines (shoulda stuck to Maytag, guys), whose tops are flying (as if I needed more reason not to do such time-consuming work. Laundry, not my thing.)

After the attack on San Bernardino, California (because everything happens in California), Apple Inc. refused to let the government break its privacy standards to find the identity of the terrorists. Luckily, Apple Inc. didn’t have to do anything– the FBI found a way in, without it.

My opinion? Nothing… But we’re not done on giants falling.

4. The ones we lost…

Carrie Fisher was just about the last straw… I was an initiated Star Wars fan. NOT FAIR, FIGHT ME 2016!!!

She’s not the only one. Christina Grimmie. Alan Rickman. Gene Wilder. Harambe (I’m just putting her up for the sake of my buddies). And many more…

Excuse me, I have to catch up on Designated Survivor and How To Get Away With Murder.

Speaking of celebs… #Confident2017!!!

5. In the end…

According to the latest Google 2016 in Review, Love is everywhere. To remind us of our division badly in need of unity. So many things are spinning wildly out control, we made the Mannequin Challenge to remind us of things that could stay still. And of course , so many things to say good-bye to. And despite what a crazy year we’ve been through, I’m feeling hopeful. That the things we went through, the bad stuff, are sacrifices for a greater future. Considering the things to look forward to. Beauty and the Beast (Emma Watson!!!). Season 7 of GoT. The fulfillment of my New Year’s Resolution. While remembering #Rio2016, #Election2016, #Pokemon Go, #Euro2016, #Oscars, aka Top 5 Trending Topics on Twitter.

Two plus zero plus one plus seven is ten. And I expect a score ten out of ten with 2017.

Dec. 31, 10:04 pm. 1 hour, 56 minutes until the next year.

Love, Coffeecara.